As I got ready to leave for the trial I sometimes felt as though the pain of this loss was delivering me unto a form of enlightenment–that through it I was finally coming to grasp that our thoughts, our emotions, our entire lives, are essentially an illusion, a long, rich, various dream from which our death wakes us.
Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall perserve it. Another red part.
Maggie Nelson, The Red Parts.